The Coward, The Plant and The Scarred Lover
by ichkak
Summary: Kakashi panics after trying to kill himself, he doesn't want to die. Meanwhile thanks to a devious dead plant, Iruka finds him.
1. The dead plant moves in mysterious ways

**Chapter 1: The dead plant moves in mysterious ways**

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I really have NO IDEA where this tale come from. I don't have much joy normally with this pairing, as I cave in to my failings and ditch the story. But, if I just keep this one short, no more than three chapters, I might just stand a chance of finishing it. I dedicate this to wawayaya as she asked me for a story! Usual chuckles and angst that you get from me, please do enjoy.

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The Coward, The Plant and The Scarred Lover

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Disclaimers – see my profile.

Warnings – swearing and yaoi.

Summary – Kakashi panics after trying to kill himself, he doesn't want to die. Mean while thanks to a devious dead plant, Iruka finds him.

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The Coward...

The blood rushed from the one cut wrist that I held in the sink. I had heard enough about this that I thought it would give me a kick somehow. I didn't feel that euphoric rush that I heard others said they'd had, I didn't feel anything but pain and panic.

I had wanted to die. I had wanted to end my sad and pitiful life because just what was the point in it any longer? I knew no one, I had no one. I hated this place I called home, I hated my stupid _'job'_ and more than anything I hated myself. I didn't even understand how I got here to this point any more.

I just was.

Here.

The end.

My eyes were wide and fearful as I stared at the endless rushing of blood from my wrist. Now I had the chance to grasp the fate of death, I was suddenly scared shitless that I'd actually die.

I mean DIE!

The endless chasm of black, cold loneliness of death was no different to how I was living was it. Suddenly the devil I knew was far better than the one I didn't.

"Oh fuck....OW!" My wrist stung like nothing I'd ever felt before, how the hell would I have ever managed to do both? This was crazy and I was a fool to be taken in by such a lame idea.

In a blind panic, as I felt myself begin to get dizzy, I scrabbled for the towel on the side of the bath and slipped over leaving a slime trail of blood down the side of the sink and bath panel. Not only now did I have a cut wrist, but my backside hurt like hell too. I held the towel around my wrist and pinched at the gaping hole until my hand tingled with pins and needles. I let my body lay back on the freezing cold tiled floor and stared up at the dirty cobwebbed ceiling.

The tears started falling unabated and I fell back to that familiar hatred of myself. I can't get anything right, I can't do anything right, I can't do anything at all. I'm so fucking useless. No wonder everyone hates me. No wonder I have no friends, no family, nothing... I'm a cold hearted, mindless, killer and fuck me, if I don't just deserve the shitty life I'm living.

Medi-packs are free to all shinobi and I have a good enough stash of them. Still gripping my wrist, I force myself up against side of the bath, not caring that I'd just wiped my own blood over the back of my vest. The bathroom held my stash of medical supplies and it sat neatly – just not very cleanly – under my sink. I yanked out a green pack of field supplies, which when using one hand that was also trying to stem the flow of blood from another, was not easy. The contents sprayed around my bent legs and I fisted up a handful of things with my shaky numb fingers. Lifting the limb to my mouth I gripped the edges of a sterile dressing from the lot and let the rest drop back to the mess on the floor. My teeth and good hand made light work of the wrapper and I let the towel go, hissing as the rough, now crusting fabric pulled away from the self-inflicted wound.

My attempts at cleaning away the blood only served to reopen the wound and I yelled at my self for being such a stupid fucking jerk. Before too much blood could rain down all over my trousers I managed to untidily wrap a bandage around my wrist. I let my head drop back to the edge of the bath and let out a sigh come whimper of defeat.

Coward.

The tears rose afresh and I again let them fall. My cries echoed around the small room and dismayed me even more. Wuss, pussy, lily-livered, chicken, soft, prick, jerk, idiot, stupid stupid stupid Stupid STUPID.

I didn't care that my clumsy feet trod all over the supposedly sterile dressings as I staggered to my feet and in my tired and traumatised way, I clung to the walls as I walked into the mess that was my one multi-purpose room. I'd left on the last mission in a hurry and came back to the saddened state of moulding crockery settled in a bed of brown stagnant washing up water. A fridge that had grown life forms of its own and the smell of stale male musk that clung to every soft furnishing.

The Plant...

I threw open a window, gagging on the smell, my hand jarred the pot plant that was dead and wilted and I cared not as it sailed out and down from from my third floor room. I let my body fall onto the bed and I pulled the covers over my trembling body. I wailed some more for good measure.

The Scarred One...

Now usually my late night walks help clear my mind from the constant thoughts of school. There were not many moments that I didn't spend thinking about lessons, the pupils or a new arrangement for the room. So wandering the streets at night had become my usual routine for bed.

But right now, my body had frozen mid step. My hands once loosely held in my pockets had stiffened and my overly active mind ceased all thoughts but – Holy fucking shit!

At my feet, the remains of a once beautiful no doubt, pot plant. It had skimmed past my head with only a foot to spare. If I had left the house one second earlier I would have joined the plant on the footpath but instead of the pot being shattered to pieces, it no doubt would have been my skull!

Instant rage fuelled my synapses and I growled openly as I looked up at the one and only open window. Reckless! Just how reckless were the inhabitants of that home?! I am not one to usually swear but really! That pot nearly bloody hit me!

My hands were clenched and I battled a moment silently to ponder going up there in a rampage or just letting it go. I really would have liked to give them a piece of my mind for being so careless.

A sound hit my thoughts. My softer side pushed its way ahead in my mind and I looked around wondering where the sound was coming from. Crying? I could hear crying. My hand uncurled and I relaxed back into my normal mode of operation. Someone really sounded upset. My head followed the sound and I found myself looking back up at the open window.

The Coward...

The knocking on the door was irritating. The only people who ever knocked always had the wrong door and when I did open, I was tired of the fear that crept far too quickly into their eyes. They'd back up and head off with profuse apologies and leave me grouchy and all alone again.

"I know you are in there, you just threw a pot plant at me!" Came through the woodwork and I cursed loudly. "I can hear you swearing, just open up!" That's all I wanted right now. I felt weak enough to want to stay in my bed for a week and here was some jumped up ninja thinking they could take on the Copynin, so no doubt they were pumped full of adrenalin and ready to go.

"Go away." I yelled letting my full rage show in my baritone voice. The knocking stopped, but the shadow of feet stayed in place.

The Scarred One...

I was sure I knew that voice. I stood a moment trying to think on it, I was good with faces and names I just needed to let my mind wander a moment.

"Hatake Kakashi?" I said trying out the name. I hadn't heard that for a while, since everything with his three students, the man had hardly been seen. Even working in the mission room, I hadn't seen him nor heard anything. Three years had passed and that was a long time in a quite village full of gossip. Gossip that said the man had gone to ground at losing Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto. ANBU of course it was obvious, had sunk their clutches back into the seasoned fighter. "Would you like your plant back, I'm afraid the pot is broken." My mind was whirling, if he was back from a mission, standing here and inviting myself in with such an aggressive tone, was probably not a way to ensure I met my grave late into my eighties. "I have another pot at my house, would you like me to bring it over?" My mouth began to ramble with no thought that it may well have only been the door and dead plant listening to me. "You know I had no idea you lived here, I only live just along the road and yet I've never seen you around." There was a shuffling on the other side and I had the impression that the owner was now standing the other side of the door. At least they were listening. "I guess you must be back from a long mission. I heard that Naruto is doing well, I had a letter from him only this week. Not that it said much more than he misses the ramen, apparently we have the best here. You know how he is, only ever thinking of his stomach." I laughed.

The Coward...

Iruka.

My thoughts swam no doubt from the blood loss as well now as tiredness, hunger and yearning for a life I had once.

Iruka.

The teacher was talking away and to be truthful I didn't really make out much of the words, I was far too intent on the sound of his voice. That man was an enigma to me.

The Plant...

"Well, you must be tired...I'll just leave the plant here." He was obviously giving up on me too. I let my body slide down the wall and my head crumple into my hands. Don't go... Please don't go. I yearned for that voice to just keep talking, to let me know that outside this hell I was in, that the world was fine. But a sadness crept in, in its place and I realised that if the world was indeed fine without me, then it didn't need me nor miss me.

The Scarred One...

I placed the plant down by the door and made to leave. I stood and paused, should I say something else? I don't know what kind of magnetic force was keeping me rooted to this spot but I felt drawn for some reason. The plant shone up at me even though it was way past any sort of revival. A sort of tug told me that there was more death ready and waiting to happen in the apartment, yet I could catch it just in time if I stayed. It was as if a pain was radiating out from the very fabric of the room.

Or was that just an over active imagination? Iruka you know you have a way too vivid mind. Probably the poor sod is just suffering from low Chakra.

Well if that were the case, who am I to intrude on the man's private time?

But my feet wouldn't move, my mind was too full of the worst case scenario's. With his way of life that could also mean... the sob that escaped the doors seal and seemed to fit with my thoughts. It could also mean a broken spirit and none deserved to break more than the man inside. He had done so much for the village and suffered so much in the villages need. "Kakashi?" I breathed into the wood, my face just from resting against the painted surface. My hands both now touching the wood and my senses feeing inside the room.

The weak signal I received back startled me and I fisted the lock quickly. I turned and rattled the lock fruitlessly.

"Open this door!" I said imploring the man to let me help.

"NO." The voice was husky and pained. But it was close, he was truly just inside the door and low down too.

I knelt and spoke through the crack of the door. "Are you just back from a mission?"

"Yes." He replied quietly but enough for me to hear it.

"Are you injured?" I asked.

"I'm so stupid Iruka." The sobs started again and for some reason I felt very alarmed. There was just this edge to his voice that stank of more than mission stress.

"Open this door or I will break it down!" I used my full teacher mode as I stood and banged at the door loudly.

"Go away. Let me be." The voice was weaker now and I acted on instinct with a raised foot I kicked at the door beside the lock. I should have taken time to be proud of the simple release of the door and the way in sprang open to my command. I looked inside instead and down at the huddle of bed covers and silver hair. There was not much discernible colouration between Kakashi and his hair and I was instantly alarmed. He barely made a move as I tugged at the coverings to find his blood covered body, still dressed and weakened. I also found a badly dressed wound on his right wrist, but at least it he had made some attempt to dress it.

The state he was in, it was no wonder he didn't open the door, I don't think he could had stood if he had tried. I took one dismal look around the room and my face screwed up at the state of it. Who would have predicted the infamous Copynin would be so untidy – no one hey?

"Have you eaten?" A shake of the head. "Have you slept?" Another shake. "Bad mission?"

"Bad life." He whimpered crumpling his face into his hands obviously not wishing for me to see him cry.

"That is just ridiculous." I took another scan of the room setting a plan into action, my hands on my hips helped although I don't know why. Well the man was only fit for his bed and that needed fresher bedding. "Where do you keep your bed linen?" A feeble hand pointed towards a trunk by the wardrobe and I stormed over with my self set mission in mind. A plume of dust later and the bed was clean and ready for an occupant. I lifted the surprisingly light man to his feet and urged him towards his bed, settling him propped up on some pillows.

The Coward...

It was as if some battle cry had gone off in Iruka's head and my fuzzy mind watched the younger man rattle around my tiny one room. The clonks and thuds of my three kitchen cupboards echoed in my fragile mind as if a hangover had landed with a vengeance. But time and space became a little warped and where as one moment I was watching him hunting for food the next he appeared sitting at my side lifting a mug of instant ramen to my lips.

The Scarred One...

I could see that Kakashi was wavering in and out of consciousness now. I had to be quick to get some fluid and nourishment into his system before he went into shock. At least I managed to get a full cup and half inside him before he finally slid into his much needed sleep.

My next thoughts were how natural a sleep was it? Should I be more worried? The bandaging on his wrist was woefully inadequate and I guessed his supplies were in the standard medical cabinet in the bathroom. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw what a state the bathroom was in. This amount of blood was worrying and without any other thoughts I sped off to the Hokage.

...

"Ermmm." For some reason, rather than treating Kakashi, she was rather more interested in the bathroom. She reached into the bloody sink and I gasped as she picked up a stained kunai. "Stupid brat." She mumbled dropping it back down and pushing past me to roughly manhandle the covers and make light work of the stained dressing on his wrist. "Iruka!" She barked at me.

"Yes Hokage-sama?" I watched her hand glow as she began to heal the freshly bleeding wound.

"Help me undress the useless swine and then get this bloody mess of a flat sorted out. I'm reassigning you as babysitter to this stupid fool. If he so much as picks up a sharp object I want you to knock him into next week!"

"Pardon!" I fumbled over my racing thoughts a moment.

"This isn't a battle wound Iruka. The fool tried to kill himself!" Her long fingernails tugged at the standard supply pants and began to tug them down. I guess they were bloody, maybe I should have looked for other wounds too and so I instantly stepped forward and helped. Thankfully the body we revealed held nothing more than old wounds, creamy white skin and an obvious lack of food.

"Was he on a long mission?" I asked as my eyes were glued on the rows of ribs.

"Fairly. Usual for him though, don't fret, he's not the type to carry too much weight. He's always been this scrawny since he his parents died." Her fingers began to relieve him of his mask and I turned my head much to her mocking laugh. "You'd be surprised what's under there." She continued her checking for more wounds. "Course, I saw this pretty little face the moment he sprang from his mothers guts so I know what he's trying to hide all this time. Damn shame. Still can't have my minions distracted by such a stunner like this." I tried to peep with one crafty eye after hearing that and she barked out a loud laugh that could wake the dead. Kakashi's face was already hidden again and I saw nothing but a grinning Tsunade; her baiting me to look had worked and she began to head towards the door with a smug grin. "Keep him fed, rested and what ever. Use your instincts Umino. Now who needs a good dose of pregenin's?" Her face twisted into an evil smirk and I felt sorry for whoever had just landed the task of my rowdy bunch at the academy.

I looked back at the killing machine laying so placidly in the wrinkled bedding. I figured if it was me, I'd wake to utilise that instinct if I was found naked in bed with a stranger wandering around. I fished through the single wardrobe at the tangle of clothing shoved in the base and pulled out a simple pair of black pants. There simply wasn't any choice of anything else.

I slid the left foot into the fabric I had bunched up in my hands and then repeated this with the right. The sleeping man obviously had ticklish feet as he jolted just so slightly as my hand brushed past his soul. I smiled at the human side to him and tugged the pants up to his knees before becoming a little alarmed at how close my face had become to his very revealed and... _well_ endowed genitalia. My mind chuckled that he was grey even down there although I don't know why I was so surprised by that. It was a given. It took more than a little effort to slide the elasticated waist band up his thigh and one hip whilst I rolled him onto his side, turning my head away from the VERY close dick. When I rolled him back I stifled a prudish laugh at the sight of the waist band propping up the long appendage. A moan soon followed however when I realised _I _had to get the other side up now too and that meant... untucking his... _thing_... from its position. Honestly I didn't know why I was so worried, I'd gone down on more than one man in my time and this Icon of maleness had always held a quantity of awe in me. Now here I was actually centimetres away from _it _and no longer wondering just how big the rumours meant!

Did I fancy Kakashi? Yeah, who didn't? I had even heard very butch males hail - Hell I'd turn gay if he came onto me!

Horrified seconds passed where I hitched the waist band over the last hip and millimetre by millimetre; the _thing_ would just not get inside the pants! It seemed quite happy to pinned against its owners abdomen – hell his chest almost wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination!

I don't know why I did it, but I closed my eyes, pinged open the waist band and quickly just grabbed it and shoved it down. My heart was yammering inside my chest and my fingers came out as if fired from a gun. They stung almost from the memory of the soft flesh and I stood there like an idiot just looking at my hand almost grinning like Naruto! Just how the hell was I going to get through this stupid situation I'd gotten myself into?


	2. Surprise

**Chapter 2: Surprise**

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Ahh the document manager was down and it wouldn't let me update! So here, slightly later than planned...

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The Scarred One...

No it was just not possible. That can't be right can it? I stare at the object that had been fascinating me since I woke. I mean who wouldn't be...alright who wouldn't be staring at _that_! I mean is it even possible? I felt my cheeks flush with colour and I stifled a giggle at how silly the thought of _that_ being shoved... up my...ahem! I turned away now seriously frustrated, just why was the first thing that I saw when waking was Kakashi's morning... woody! It was obscene and probably quite unfair to give one man all _that_! It stuck right out his waist band in a dangerously de ja vous from last night and did practically reach his chest! The man was big soft but come on that just isn't human!

Distraction...Distraction? I stand and survey the messy room, now even messier that my self appointed charge has thrown his covers off during the night. My eyes flit, of course, back to..._that_!

My hands tug my hair into its classic pony tail, having to repeat the action several times for the few stands, yes you know who you are! Every day you trouble makers avoid the hands that bind you, I know your game. I snap the hair band that had been waiting to pounce from my fingers around my hair and the little beasties are tamed once more. A quick sniff of ones armpits leaves me wishing I hadn't and I edge quietly towards the bathroom.

The Plant...

The plant looked a little slanted on the dish I sat its clump of soil on. I tilted my head and nodded in satisfaction, that looked better, now all I had to do is get used to a slanted head and a tilted room instead.

"What are you doing?" The voice sounded grumpy and a little horse, but my tilted head easily found the single eye that peeped out from under the small gap in the covers that the caterpillar previously known as one of the most feared of the Sharingan users, glared at me from. I realised he was looking at me as if I was an idiot and with my head stuck at this weird angle who can blame him. I chuckled and righted my nut and watched him tut and sigh.

I know I'm blushing I can feel the heat rising on my face, but even though I covered him and _it_ up, the _brute_ just won't leave my mind.

"I watered your plant." I say feebly and he gives me a dead-pan look that can only mean he's wondering just quite how stupid I am. Sorry Mr Graduated as 6! Some of us needed that extra half of our lives to be able to write legibly. Something you could have been a little more attentive to, ninja skills aren't everything you know! Oh... I seem to be a little wound up. I cough to calm myself glancing back at the plant until my temper cools.

"You watered a dead plant?" I nodded and peeped under the top dead leaves, a few well chosen sacrificial leaves and the stumpy green bit in the middle might well rejuvenate. Erm talking of stumpy things in the middle... I looked back at the bed and chuckled again at a stumpy little head in the middle of the bed covers. All of a sudden my far too bored brain wondered at how many analogies I could come up with to compare Kakashi to his plant.

The Scarred One...

"I sort of thought I'd give it a chance." I shrugged. "I'm a real sap for hopeless cases." I wish suddenly that I hadn't said that bit out loud as his single eye narrowed and gave me the glare I bet he gives all his victims before he snuffs out their lives. Oh I want my mummy.

The Coward...

"Why..." I ask the damn school teacher in the slowest and most painful drawl I can manage. "...are you here?" I can see him flinch and the look of fear accompanies the waft of it drifting from his body. Triumphant didn't fulfil the feeling I had right now as it also surprisingly accompanied a degree of guilt. Me guilty? Nah who would have thought it? No I don't do guilt, I do full blown total jerk instead, but I didn't backtrack to make amends. This guy was alive and for once I realised I actually had the chance to wipe away a fresh layer of guilt with a simply apology.

The guy was here because he was the sappy kind of do gooder I could never hope to be. Without people like him in the world, there would be no Naruto and no point in living at all. No point living? Wasn't I the dumb-fuck that just tried to kill myself? God did that mean... No... I was not about to admit that I had just given Iruka the responsibility of giving me a reason to stay alive. "Why?" I ask again, having almost lost my train of thought in my own mental rambling.

"Well... you know..." That pink blush across his face had me recoiling in fear and I was stunned into a self imposed loathing. A guy like him would and most defiantly should not be worrying about me. I was simply not worth it.

"I'm a hopeless cause too far Sensei." I said simply and rolled over away from the look of sadness my last sentence caused. I didn't want to see his disappointment in me reflected on that amazing face. Shame I couldn't block out the sound of his soft sweet voice and caring sentiments too.

The Scarred One...

"Oh I don't know..." I paused wanting to reach out and touch that shoulder that is so crying out for the hand of a friend to fall upon it. Friend or lover, I wanted to be both, yet I still didn't reach out and touch him. Instead I reached for the poor plant and stroked is poor crinkled brown leaves. By wishing with all my might that it would restore, I didn't even try and fool myself that I was wishing the same sentiments to the poor crinkled half dead man in the bed. "...I tell you what, I'll do you a deal."

"A deal?" That nearly had him turned back around, but he stopped short of just slightly turning his head. His voice had picked up a curious tone and I smiled inwardly at my success.

"Yeah. I'll leave you alone if you let me tend your plant."

The Coward...

I knew I didn't feel on top of the world, far from it, but I'm sure I had enough gumption to understand a load of utter tripe when I heard it. I forced my self up from the cocoon of blankets I always sleep in and eyed him with the due suspicion he deserved. "The plant is dead."

"Your so mean, he has feelings you know! What would you say if I told _you_, he told _me,_ last night that _you_ were nearly dead too and he was _worried_ about you?" He looked as if he had made sense then and had a self satisfied smirk on his face. Shame that none of that made any sense at all.

"Iruka, does it take a certain kind of idiot to be a teacher?"

"Course. Idiot enough to piss off an ANBU and see him naked too." Iruka now could claim the right to that smug smirk whilst I rightly donned a look of total horror.

"Naked? _Me_? _You_?" I spluttered because who wouldn't! I pointed a finger at him and at myself several times whilst repeating the '_Me? You?' _Silently in my head as I did it. As I was frozen in total mortification, he only had to add to that by laughing and throwing smart ass comments back.

The Plant...

"You know maybe you lost _tooooooo_ much blood. Shall I call Tsunade again? She _nearly_ showed me your face too." God even the DEAD plant sitting in front of the open window had the nerve to shiver his leaves as he sniggered at me too. Was it pointing one of those leaves at me too? Really?

The Coward...

"You had her here!" I sat upright, ignoring the way the room span as this conversation was way more important right now than worrying about such trivia. I'd got home from missions in worse states.

The Scarred One...

"I didn't 'have' her anywhere! I am gay and I have my standards you know." The cheek of it, suggesting that I had sexual relations with that fierce woman! I chuckle at my joke and watch him grasp his head and blink his eye a few times. Maybe I should have offered him at least some water too by now. I'd given the plant some already... Erm did I actually care more for the plant then? Yeah. The poor plant couldn't fight for its rights all alone, so it needed me.

"You know you're giving me a headache." Kakashi's voice dipped to sound almost like a whimper and I figured that maybe I should have put him before the plant after all. No come off it, this was self inflicted, what was I getting so upset about? Tsunade herself said I had permission to beat him up!

"Well at least that gives you a better reason for one." Yeah take that you plant hater! "Killing yourself and murdering an innocent plant by malnourishment and then pushing it out the window when you'd got bored of it, is a _bad_ reason. You are a naughty boy!" I wag my finger and consider giving him lines or detention... On no much better, the ruler on the bottom till its hot and rosy or just plain sex against the black board instead. _Iruka_! As I came too from my pink fuzzy thoughts I saw the man I was trying to molest in my mind fall back in the bed and the colour drain from his face. Yep, you should have fed him first you plonker.

The Coward...

"Why on earth would you try and kill yourself?" He asked me quietly whilst putting a cup of hot chicken miso broth to my covered lips. His beautiful voice held more emotion than in my entire body.

"Yeah, well..." I felt ashamed to admit that I was about to do something as stupid as my father did. But I wasn't leaving a 6 year old behind. No I was leaving a village that needed me. I was leaving Sakura & Naruto and Sasuke behind. Hell I was leaving Iruka behind and yes even that damn plant too. How would I have faced Obito in the next life having done that, when he in his dying moments selflessly gave me a gift that saved me a thousand times.

The look that Iruka gave me told me he knew exactly what I was thinking and I stay alive in the field by never letting my adversary know what's in my brain, so I change tact's to one he never would have guessed I'd use, honesty. "I'm a free agent cos no one wants me, no one cares about me. No one has ever loved me. My whole life is about kill or be killed and its just luck that I haven't been killed already." That stumped him. His face was blank. He stood and took the empty broth cup and placed it in the pile of dishes still waiting to be washed up. I marvel at how he found a clean one. Funny, somehow I figured he'd be the type to have cleaned the whole flat by now.

"You should sleep now." He says quietly and buggered if I can stop myself doing just that.

...

When I wake, I know what makes me wake, its the sound of someone trying to be quiet, the smell and feel of someone trying to pretend their not there. The shadows behind my eyelids show movement from others trying to be still and my senses tell me that there are at least five people in my home all trying to fold and tuck in their chakra, but all convinced I'm not well enough to sense much anyway. A hiss and whisper that convinces me they are hiding something makes me open my eye warily. What I see shocks me to the core and no its not Iruka standing there hands on hips looking at me with that smug grin again. How did he know I was waking anyway? Getting back to the subject, I see several people I know and they are all wearing bright yellow rubber gloves, although Iruka's are pink. With fluff.

Gai, Asuma, Genma, Sakura and Tenzo seem to all be cleaning various parts of the room. I pull myself up to sit and stare at them in absolute wonder.

The Plant...

That know it all plant is even smug. Sitting there in a fresh new pot all gleaming with his old tatty leaves missing and waiting like a virgin bud to spring out shouting 'surprise'.

The Scarred One...

From the moment I saw his nose twitch I could see he was waking. I knew Gai couldn't resist a bellow of a challenge even if Kakashi was asleep. Still he lost his, 'I'll have the wardrobe sorted by the time he wakes or I'll run around the city walls three times naked and _Mooney the Hokage_.' Now that would be amusing, even I feel sorry for Tsunade.

"What's..." Hah he's so shocked he can't even finish his sentences.

"This is the tip of the iceberg." I smile. "I have flowers from Ino, dog biscuits from Kiba, a bug that Shino promises will revive your plant by next week, a hand stitched tea cozy from Hinta, special plant food from Kurenai, a hamper of food from Choji, sake from Rock Lee, a sharpening steel from TenTen, a pass to the next open day of the Hokage Museum from Tsunade and a picture from Sai. Several civilians including an old lady who wanted you to have a special mug and bag of camomile tea for always being so good at helping her cross the road and getting her cat out of a tree."

"Kakashi-sensei, you really did help that old lady?" Sakura looked over mildly impressed and looked up from cleaning the floor. "We always thought you were making it up!"

"And I did that." Iruka pointed to the wall and Kakashi turned his head to view the twenty or so pictures secured to the wall. Kakashi looked upon photo's he hadn't seen since a child of his family, his past teams and friends old and new. "This is your past, your present and your future, its who you are and how much you are loved by the whole village. You just need to look at the wall and know that you have a lot to be grateful for."


	3. Jealous

Here you go, the last chapter. It goes without saying that your reviews are wonderful and I thank you all for your comments. I know it was possible to go on, but I wanted to end it on a laugh. So read on and enjoy!

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The Scarred One...

I watch his face and wonder if I gave him the right gift. He had been staring at the wall of photos to the point of ignoring everyone else. They'd all accepted my apologies and left quietly, but even hours later he was still staring at the multitude of images.

Daring myself to the point that my hands shook and wondering if my sanity was failing me. This was most certainly the quickest route to a painful death.

"You need to eat." I say to him. A slight nod. "Ermm... What about... you know... your mask?" I can feel my nerves rising at each word. I want to reach out and take down that oppressive mask.

"You know, what does it matter?" Does it sound like he's giving in?

"Its only me anyway. A little humble, past my best chunin." I chuckle. "You know you can always kill me after." I suggested ever hopeful that he'll say yes... oh not to kill me though. Mind you, how complete would my life be? I'd be one of the few that had actually seen the bare naked flesh of his face. Oh yes, I could die happy knowing I'd seen more _inches_ of Kakashi than anyone else! I'd even touched many _inches_ too! I laugh to myself and he turned his head with the makings of a frown. One eyed frown but it was momentous all the same. God he is beautiful, even in his mask.

The Coward...

"Kill you?" Then my life really would be pointless. Killing such a pure and innocent creature would be the absolute sin. Its people like you Iruka that make life worth living for so many. Its the person you are that makes me sit here with the first stirrings of hope and maybe even a little hopeful dream of a happy ever after. I wish I could just put that aspiration into words my lips would be brave enough to speak.

The Scarred One...

"Well, compared to you, I'm hardly an asset to the village am I?" The moment was only a moment, but that's the nature of them. Time warping qualities were always a possibility and this was one moment that took that chance and ran with it. I watched his hand approaching, warp speed minus a million, feeling the heat of his skin growing in intensity before it even made contact. Was he shaking too? Yes Iruka, its called low blood sugar, you haven't fed him _again! _I find myself blushing as his hand reaches my shoulder – cos that's the most bodily contact I'd had with anyone for a long long time and this is a moment I'd wanted in just as long too.

Warped moment and warped mind, I suddenly turn the innocuous contact into something much bigger and I find myself almost saying, '_Can I fuck you_?' out loud!

The Coward...

I open my mouth to counter that ridiculous statement and put him right. Tell him just how valuable he is to so many, me included. Me included when you look at me with eyes that shouldn't be yearning for me, that must be my depressed imagination. Again, my open mouth is ready to speak when I jump alert at the sound of a thud by the window.

The Plant...

After all the love and care I put into him, I tell you that damn plant had the cheek to fall over! The stupid brown plastic pot had thudded onto the saucer it was sitting in and interrupted what was no doubt a declaration of love, he'd never have the courage to say again...

The Scarred One...

Okay maybe I am getting carried away there!

But then if I am, a gust of wind and one falling plant and this man is battle ready with a kunai in hand – just where did he get that from? I touch his arm gently and he lowers the blade.

"It was the wind." I explain.

"Never is it just the wind Iruka." He says and his eyes dart towards the window opening and I can almost feel his tendrils of chakra sensing out the perimeter for enemies. The moment, our moment is gone. Yes, loyal and misguided brain, there would have been a moment! Who am I kidding? This is ninja number one. Mr Oh So Fuckable and Handsome and Capable and Beautiful and One with deep almost hypnotic voice Hatake. Not Mr, love guys or dreary teachers loser like you Umino.

The Plant...

A flash of lightening silences the outside world for a nano second and I look up to the window at the shaking leaves of the plant. I stand and pick I up. "Its alright, you don't need to be scared, I'll look after you." I tell the fearful little thing and smile at it as I right it on its saucer and take a little journey to see that its watered.

The Coward...

"I look at some of those pictures and think that I failed them. They should be more real than just a picture on my wall." The locks of long hair wave as Iruka's head turned quickly to the sound of my voice. Not only his eyes open wide but his mouth too in an adorable look of surprise as he realises I was lowering my mask as I spoke. I want that hope and I want it badly. Please be what I think you are Iruka, if you are, you'd say something to rock my world after that. You'd do something to make it all better again, showering me with the love that you give that plant and everyone else your presence touches. I need it. Save me.

The Scarred One...

"That maybe so, but without them you wouldn't be who you are." I say with a smile and sit back on the bed. He lets me reach up and touch his baby soft cheeks. I manage to hide my surprise this time as his face leans into my palm asking for more. "They shaped you as they lived and they shaped you in their deaths. Each gave something so that you would keep living, just as you have passed that gift on so that they may do the same." I find that without realising I had moved closer to his plump looking lips, my eyes are drawn to their shape almost as if I am dragged there by a tractor beam. My voice hitches and descends into a whispered lilt. "You are a cog in the wheel of ninja evolution; every cog had its limit and its time to move on. Be happy that they touched you in such a way; remember them respectfully by honouring the unwritten promise that you will keep on living." I'm almost there, almost at his lips, almost. Will he let me? Will I dare?

The Coward...

The plant can sit there and shake his leaves all he likes. A witness to something so perfect and right. Lip against lip, we don't even move. No pressure is applied, no moving or opening of our mouths. I am so content with just this. A kiss in its simplest form, naked and uncomplicated, yet full of...full of... full of everything I want it to be, everything I ever dreamed and imaged.

Our kiss is broken, but in its place is a mended man. If not fully mended, I certainly have seeping superglue and obvious chipped edges where the jagged edges have been pulled back together. I'm healing I know it. Just from one kiss seems a jitsu of amazing talent, but I won't question it. I wanted to be saved and I suddenly know I am. I watch as he grins with a look of pure mischief and I wonder what form my cure will take. I looked at the creature crawling up my bed like a panther let loose from the zoo. He had intent written in his eyes and it was the kind of intent that scared me witless. Lust. Was I ready? "Iruka what are you doing?"

"Taking advantage of you." He grins a toothy grin.

"Don't underestimate me." Oh I still have some fight left in me, fight driven by fear mind!

"Have you ever noticed how many ninja die after saying that phrase. Its not a good omen you know." He winks and I actually shiver. God he is sexy.

"Even in this state I could kill you." Oh there is nothing like a bluff is there.

"Yeah? But you'd miss having the time of your life if you did." Please Tsunade make that smile illegal, its going to be the ruin of me.

The Plant...

"Turn Mr Uggi away? I'll never hear the last of it." I can picture his mocking leaves waving their taunts at me.

The Scarred One...

"Why Hatake Kakashi, you sound as if you are getting used to the idea." I feel more than turned on as I remember the sights I've seen before. I want him and I want him NOW.

"Well you've stared at my naked body more than once, I figured, its only fair I put you out of your misery."

Oh that sudden careless attitude doesn't fool me. You can't bluff you way out of this now the deed in set in motion. If you had not shown me the face of an angel I wouldn't have stepped on this path. This path will be the making of you Kakashi Hatake I promise you. "Well its a shame to waste such an... _asset_." My finger tips are tingling at the idea of touching _that_ again. So bid, so wide... I want it, I'm going to have it. I snag at the covers and begin to tugg them down. Slowly and slowy his naked chest begins to be uncovered. His smile grows.

"Mr Mungo is looking forward to this." The voice purrs seductively at me and I almost miss what he has said. Hang on? What?

"Mungo?" Did I squeak? His eyes dart down to my groin and I know its letting the team down by almost bursting through the seam of my trousers. Its yelling keenly to all who dare glare, that it wants to be let loose and feel the air on its sensitive skin...God its hot in here.

"You haven't a name for yours?" He smirks at the bulge.

"Yeah, jealous."


End file.
